I watched this with the assistance of my beloved friends at Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Apparently, several minutes of key plot points were shaved off to accommodate commercial breaks and you know what? It doesn’t make any difference, because I don’t think it’s possible to actually get through this thing if you are paying attention to the plot. And that would entail paying attention to the hero, who is so unappealing that all you can do is point and laugh. Which is where MST3K comes in…they make the unbearable funny.
Category: movie reviews
Movie Review: The Quiet Man (1952)
Sure, it’s a John Wayne movie, but the show belongs to the great Maureen O’Hara, who was never better, or more beautiful. One of my favorites, and an obligatory part of St. Patrick’s Day.
Movie Review: Poor Things (2023)
Where to start with this thing? I guess what it all comes down to for me is this: sexual exploitation of women (particularly those who cannot consent due to intellectual and emotional deficits) is not a path to their enlightenment. But damn, with enough creativity, you can sure make such a story *look* super neat.
That’s it. That’s my review.
Movie Review: San Francisco International Airport (1970)
A dreary TV pilot for a series that (understandably) never was is made a joyful and hilarious experience with the help from the folks at Mystery Science Theatre 3000. The cast is full of competent actors (and a few big names) but…it’s about an airport, y’know?
Movie Review: Stagecoach (1939)
This is a seminal movie in the history of film, and for good reason: the cast, storytelling, and cinematography are spectacular and ground-breaking for the time. John Wayne is sensational in his breakthrough role as is Thomas Mitchell (Scarlett O’Hara’s dad and George Bailey’s Uncle Billy) as a drunken doctor at the end of his rope. There’s a shot in here of an Indian shooting and re-loading his gun on a running horse that my dad excitedly pointed out to me the first time I watched it. Thanks, Daddy, for introducing me to this, and so many other classics.
Movie Review: Steamboy (2004)
Man, I wanted to like this. On the plus side, the animation is jaw-dropping, really stunning. On the negative side, is pretty much everything else. The plot is made up of a lot of ideas, most of them stale, but that doesn’t stop the fairly badly conceived characters from talking and talking and talking and talking about them as if they are profound. Hey everyone, did you hear that governments can be corrupt and that war is bad? Who knew?
Movie Review: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974)
Consistently hilarious (OK, there’s a short dry stretch or two, but why carp?), this is prime smart/stupid Python glory. See it above (with ads).
Movie Review: The Miracle Worker (1962)
The story of Helen Keller and her teacher Annie Sullivan is very effective thanks mostly to the ferocious performance of Anne Bancroft as Sullivan. The movie feels very stagey, which is understandable since it’s an adaptation of a play. The secondary characters are nothing to write home about either, but it’s really Bancroft’s movie, and she delivers, as does Patty Duke as Helen, so it’s all good.
Movie Review: The Spiral Staircase (1946)
This is a taut noir-horror-thriller hybrid about a serial killer who targets women with disabilities, and a mute woman’s efforts to avoid becoming the next victim. It’s very well shot, and has an ever-escalating feeling of claustrophobia and tension. I’m not a fan of Dorothy McGuire, but she’s quite good in a role that limits her to non-verbal communication.
You can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBOGY6GPg6s
Movie Review: Hundreds of Beavers (2022)
From the guys who brought you the ultra-low budget and amusing monster spoof “Lake Michigan Monster,” comes the story of a trapper and the toothy rodent army he goes to war with. It’s clever, dumb, visually amazing, and dam funny.