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2023 Movie Diary, Part 13

37. SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL (1970)

A truly terrible TV pilot, but oh my goodness, what an epic episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. That’s my entire review, because it doesn’t rate one on its own dreary “merits.”
Verdict: Has any human ever possessed a more punchable face than Pernell Roberts?
See it here: View the MST3K version here (you’re welcome): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYX1UYLbF7c

38. INTERNES CAN’T TAKE MONEY (1937)

Internes Can't Take Money (1937) - HD, Barbara Stanwyck, Joel McCrea ...

The remarkably delectable Joel McCrea in scrubs, flirting with patient Barbara Stanwyck, knocking back a few brewskis with gangsters, breaking hospital rules, doing experimental surgeries in strange locations, like pool tables and office desks. Oh won’t you kiss it and make it better, Dr. Kildare?
Verdict: The two splendid leads make the silly melodrama extremely enjoyable. Did I mention Joel McCrea in scrubs?
See it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVw1Gh3jqHM

39. THE VIKINGS (1958)

The Norwegian scenery is real, and scarred, one-eyed Kirk Douglas chews every last bit of it.  Meanwhile, a game Tony Curtis sports a swell pompadour and fur manties, while Janet Leigh’s bra almost puts out the eyes of her co-stars.  This is one of *those* historical epics, and because of everything mentioned above, and committed performances from the cast, it’s insanely fun.  I loved it. 
Verdict: It’s a good time. Recommended!

Santa Anita – The Familiar Taste of Failure

I went with Touchdown Kittle. But seeming no-hoper McGregor Lake got the job done and paid more than $60.

Touchdown Kittle ladies and gents.

Every one of these people thinks they know who is going to win. Very few were correct.

Here’s Touchdown Kittle in the lead, just before being passed by a half dozen other horses.

Still, it was a great day. Here is a video I made, complete dramatic music to compensate for the unspectacular photos and camera work!

2023 Movie Diary, Part 12

34. MISSILE X: THE NEUTRON BOMB INCIDENT (1978)

Peter Graves stars as a sexy international man of mystery out to save the world. I’ll just stop there. That should be more than enough.
Verdict: Rifftrax made it bearable. Great fun, even.
See it here: Rifftrax version – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBz5b0tANzc

35. GAMMERA THE INVINCIBLE (1966)

An arctic expedition gone wrong. A enigmatic Eskimo carving. Clueless scientists. Panicky military personnel. A child with a turtle fetish. A guy dressed in a rubber turtle outfit stomping models of cities and power plants. This is indeed a film that has something for everyone.
Verdict: Terrific in all of the ways these kaiju movies are terrific.
See it here: The Rifftrax version is pretty hilarious, but honestly I would have enjoyed it without the riffing.

36. THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (1960)

Lots to love here, and just enough wrong with it to leave you vaguely disappointed.  The annoying “young kid” character is unbearable. Leaving him and his stupid romantic subplot on the cutting room floor would solve most of the movie’s problems. But then you’ve only got the Magnificent Six, and that doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. Oh well.
Verdict: Good but not great. I don’t care what its reputation is.

Santa Anita – Decor

Horsey touches everywhere.

The fountain, engraved with the names of the winners of the Santa Anita Handicap. Up to a point. They’re gonna need a bigger fountain.

Looking down judgmentally at all of the gambling going on.

One of the many statues in the paddock gardens.

I’ve always loved this pot.

Mare and foal topiary.

The paddock gardens really are beautiful.

They’re doing that public art thing with horses painted by various artists. I kind of liked this one. Sort of mod.

2023 Movie Diary, Part 11

31. GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN (1958)

False advertising. He’s not a giant, he’s maybe 6′ 3″. And he’s not from the unknown, he’s from 15th century Spain. And he also seems to have lumbago, so his attacks on the unsuspecting are like watching paint dry. This, in addition for the director’s penchant for long metal-detecting grid search sequences, make this one seem far, far, far longer than it’s brief running time.
Verdict: Meh.
See it here (with the guys from Rifftrax): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5d0OEyA6Dc

32. JUNGLE GODDESS (1948)

Oh, but this is a dreary, unpleasant little ditty. But at least the flying sequences are done with little model planes on perfectly visible strings. So there’s that. That’s literally the best thing about it.
Verdict: Trust me when I say that you can go ahead and miss this.
See it here (via Mystery Science Theatre 3000): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdCocIrY864

33. THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS (2002)

Wes Anderson’s movies are an acquired taste, but I acquired it long ago not just because of his wacky/wonderful visual aesthetic, but because of the heart that he puts into his work. This is a story of familial dysfunction, disappointment, betrayal, forgiveness and redemption, and it’s weirdly moving and brutally funny in all kinds of unexpected ways.
Verdict: Wonderful, and a potential HoF member. I have to see it a few times more to make completely sure.