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2023 Movie Diary, Part 10

28. DINOSAURUS (1960)

Bad acting, worse writing, brain-dead plotting, mediocre stop motion dinosaurs, and schlocky caveman antics all in one movie!  It’s Dinosaurus!  What more can you ask for?  Well, how about a climactic duel between a T-Rex and an excavator.  How about a character named Dumpy?  Tempted now?  You should be!  
Verdict: I love movies like this. I don’t care who knows it.
See it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxsX1iT6260

29. SPACE MUTINY (1988)

A fun bad movie catapulted to immortality by the greatest of all MST3K episodes. That’s it. That’s my review. Put your faith in Blast Hardcheese and watch it.
Verdict: The Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version is an Inductee, Laurie’s Cinematic Hall of Fame. There, I said it. You know what movie will never be in my Hall of Fame? Casablanca. I refuse to apologize.
See It Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa42pxJyq64

30. MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD

One of the greatest, most immersive movies ever made.  Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey/Maturin novels, which serve as the source material, are probably unfilmable as written, at least in motion picture form, and the differences between books and movie are significant. But it’s so beautifully crafted and acted, and so breathtaking in scale yet intimate and nuanced that it’s just miraculous. I will say it again: this is one of the best movies ever made.
Verdict: Inductee, Laurie’s Cinematic Hall of Fame

A short side trip to San Juan Capistrano!

A lovely day spent in the company of the lovely ladies of my Bible study group. Train trip, lunch, and some wanderings. Excellent!

So green and superbloomy!

I kind of liked the WWI getup, but it’s hard to top the barefooted leg gaiters look.

You can almost hear them rustling in the breeze.

Treebeard!

Old Mr. Tree looks pretty good 220ish.

The way home…

2023 Movie Diary, Part 9

25. NOAH (2014)

Look, I totally get that the Biblical story of Noah is quite brief, and the filmmakers were going to get creative. But the way it wastes its pretty interesting first half by descending into a rat’s nest of ugly, weird, and twisted nonsense is pretty depressing. 

Verdict: Here, let me show you the part of the film that’s worth seeing: the astonishing “creation” sequence. Don’t bother with the rest.

26. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (2018)

This aggressively superficial biopic of Queen frontman Freddy Mercury whitewashes the darker elements of his story to the point that it robs both the triumphs and tragedy of his life of their dramatic impact. It’s impossible to feel anything while watching aside from the nagging feeling that time would be better spent listening to some Queen albums.
Verdict: Seriously, go listen to some Queen instead. Also, Rami Malek won an Oscar for this? How the hell did that happen?

27. GAMERA VS. GUIRON (1969)

In this miraculous specimen of kaiju cheese, the ever long-suffering Gamera must rescue a couple of annoying children from a couple of brain-eating space foxes, and a sullen ambulatory (kinda) kitchen knife.  Oh, and it has a song with a chorus that you will never get out of your head.  Ever.  If this isn’t a high enough recommendation for you, you are a lost cause, my friend.  
Verdict: I love these kinds of movies so much. I love them even better with my old friends from Mystery Science Theater 3000!